The Echo of Regret: A Vow Against Futility

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The Echo of Regret: A Vow Against Futility

The shadow falls, a failure in my sight,
Disappointment’s echo, haunting day and night.
Regret’s cold hand upon my waking thought,
A hollow dream, the battle that we fought.

A profound, persistent ache resides within,
A deep, visceral wound where grief begins.
Each time the news arrives, a soul has gone,
The numbers climb, yet tragedy lives on.

For those now lost within the heavy fog,
This deep despair, no fleeting shadow slog,
It raises questions that torment the soul:
How could we shield them, how regain control?

What could I, personally, have done to reach,
To pull them back, beyond the final beach?
Why do such vibrant lives, with potential vast,
End in this final, devastating, broken blast?

The pain, a sickening, immediate jolt,
A punch that leaves me breathless and unbolt.
Another one lost, a cycle we can’t cease,
The repetition numbs, yet sharp remains the piece.

A desperate cry: What can be truly done,
When the tide of loss engulfs the rising sun?
We must find answers, a pathway to prevent,
A strategy of hope, with all our power lent.

What can we do, right now, with urgent plea,
To stop this cycle of futility?
They were too young, their promise yet untold,
A song cut short, a story left untold.

Reduced to cold, impersonal distress,
A public crisis we cannot suppress.
The lives they were, a silence left behind,
Deafening echoes of the best of humankind.

https://books2read.com/u/m25Ygd

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I thought you were my certain shield,
The one true, steadfast, loyal friend.
A naive conviction, now revealed,
That you would stand until the end,
No matter the storm, the challenge faced,
Your full resolve, completely placed.

I sought a fierce, unwavering vow,
A pure defense, holding nothing back,
A perfect pledge, as you know how,
To guard my ground along the track.
A hundred percent, my only plea,
Undeniable fealty.

But that fierce certainty is gone,
A shattered faith, a painful lie.
I wake to realize at dawn,
I lack the worth that merits why—
I’m not enough, I see it clear,
To warrant that support so dear.

The wound of ‘sorry’ is a slight,
A shallow balm that cannot mend
The hollow ache of broken light;
It will not bring the hurt to end.
For others hold a higher seat,
They taste the loyalty I greet.

And so, the starkest truth remains,
A bitter draught I must consume:
To face the isolating rains,
To walk alone within the gloom.
I must accept, in every plight,
I stand completely by my light.

https://books2read.com/u/m25Ygd

What Depression Feels Like

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What Depression Feels Like

The liquid velvet, soft and deep,
A wonderfully warm tide to keep
The soul at rest, the skin in grace,
A gentle, all-encompassing embrace.
It holds the sun’s forgotten art,
A yielding balm that mends the heart,
Sinking deep into the bone,
Where every coil of tension is overthrown.

A quiet joy within the chest,
A feeling wholly warm and blessed.
Not just physical, but a love untold,
A deep, inexplicable warmth to hold.
In peaceful suspension, time is still,
The outside world obeys the will
Of this sweet bliss, where nothing is near
But the gentle lapping of the heat held dear.

Then, a subtle shift begins to creep,
Disturbing the water from its sleep.
A whisper of coolness, a current’s sigh,
A quiet, inevitable tide draws nigh.
Down and down, the sanctuary falls,
The warmth’s core pulled through unseen walls,
A slow descent, the magic gone astray,
As the perfect feeling flows away.

Swiftly now the change is known,
A shocking cold, where heat was sown.
It hits the body, a sharp intrusion,
A sudden, stark, and cold confusion.
Creeping up the limbs, the awakening stark,
Leaving a chill, a profound, cold mark.
A sudden loss, a trailing dread,
As comforting heat has truly fled.

The final warmth is now withdrawn,
I lie in wait for the bleak, cold dawn.
The porcelain icy, the air is chill,
The once-magical pool is now still.
A container cold, and left alone,
A bleak and empty vessel of stone.
I shiver slightly, the memory’s grace
Of that perfect heat still haunts this place,
Wondering why such a feeling could flee,
And depart so completely from me.

A good friend once told me that this is how depression feels. I do not have depression. I have anxiety. But I thought it was an interesting metaphor for depression. I wanted to write it down to give some awareness. He said once the cold hits you, you feel like the warmth will never come back.

https://books2read.com/u/m25Ygd

Just a Ghost Upon the Hill

I have to assume all indie writers feel this way eventually. I’ve poured my life into writing—16 years just on novels—and for what? You write and write, and the silence on the other end is deafening. It makes you wonder if it was all just a dream, or if you’re just shouting into the void. At this point, I don’t even know what to feel.”

Just a Ghost Upon the Hill

The cursor blinks against the white,
A lonely pulse in fading light.
The file is open, saved, and clean,
The final chapter, final scene.
No agent waiting, no advance,
Just me, and this one fading chance.

I hit the “publish” button, bold,
A story waiting to be told.
I watched the dashboard, day by day,
And saw the numbers waste away.
A rank that sticks in seven figures,
The hopeful ache that slowly withers.

I tweaked the keywords, bought the ads,
One of a million hopeful fads.
I begged for reviews, a star or two,
From strangers who just skimmed it through.
I wrote the posts, I forced the smile,
And felt the burnout all the while.

The day job calls, the bills are due,
The time I stole to see this through
Feels wasted now, a foolish debt,
A heavy, deep, and cold regret.
The passion I mistook for skill

Is just a ghost upon the hill.
I close the file, I shut the screen.
The world I built remains unseen.
The ink is dry, the well is spent,
I don’t know where the magic went.
I’ll let the silence have the win,
And not pick up the pen again.

More Works by Nancy Ann Creed

https://books2read.com/u/m25Ygd

Feelings

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Feelings (When you know you are being left out.)

The laughter comes through drywall, thick and low,
A happy static I don’t get to know.
I’m in the kitchen, pouring out a drink,
And on the very edge of what they think.
It isn’t cruel, it has no pointed sting,
This accidental orbit where I swing.

The door swings open and the sound cuts clean,
A sudden silence wipes the vibrant scene.
A smile is offered, quick and paper-thin,
A pause, before the story can begin
Again, but different. Softer, and more staid,
A careful, edited version, newly made.

And in that quiet that my presence brought,
A frantic question in my mind is caught:
Was my name just a whisper in the air?
A punctuation mark they couldn’t share?
A punchline or a problem or a plea?
Was the last word they swallowed simply “me”?

There is no proof, no evidence to find,
Just shifting shadows in my worried mind.
A glance that might mean nothing, or mean all,
The way a friendly gesture seems too small.
I’m chasing ghosts of words I never heard,
And judging every single action spurred.

It’s like a hum beneath the floorboards, faint,
A phantom ache that merits no complaint.
For what is there to say? “I feel a dread
About the secret things you might have said”?
They’d call it madness, and perhaps they’re right.
So I just stand here in the fading light,
And smile, and nod, and never let them see
The terrifying space surrounding me.

Check out more work by Nancy Ann Creed

Maeve- https://books2read.com/u/m25Ygd
Matthew- https://books2read.com/u/bzNZYj
Justin- https://books2read.com/u/mBKzLZ
Maurelle- https://books2read.com/u/bzN19D
Annabelle- https://books2read.com/u/bWqEkx

A Faded Dream

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A Faded Dream

A whisper starts, a quiet hum,
“You’re not enough,” the murmurs come.
A shadow thought, a heavy dread,
Planting doubts inside my head.

I see the world in vibrant gleam,
And feel I’m just a faded dream.
Comparing starts, a bitter art,
Tearing self-worth quite apart.

The moments rise, when strength feels low,
And efforts seem to barely grow.
A voice insists, with mocking tone,
“You stand in this wide world, alone.”

Yet in the quiet, I recall,
The times I rose, despite the fall.
The battles won, the lessons learned,
A inner fire, softly burned.

Perhaps this doubt, a passing cloud,
Not truth declared, nor spoken loud.
A human echo, faint and deep,
While truer strengths, within me sleep.

For “good enough” is not a prize,
But knowing self, with honest eyes.
And even when the shadows loom,
My own bright light can fill the room.

More works by Nancy Ann Creed

https://books2read.com/u/3LMnON

Deflated

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Deflated

Sides are drawn, and you are left in the dust.
The world is not what it once was.
You feel deflated.
All you once knew is gone.
Lies and corruption and you are deflated.

I thought you were my friend. I thought I could count on you.
Sides were drawn, and I was left standing alone. 
Standing looking around, not knowing which way is up.

Deflated, and my soul aches, and I am left.
Dejected and alone, you know now who you can count on. 
The sides were drawn, and you were left in the dust. 

You want to scream and cry but it won’t matter.
Your soul aches but who cares. 
Deflated and alone, but no one cares.
They only care for themselves and you were left alone.


Silent Whispers Turned to Dread

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Silent Whispers Turned to Dread

A tiny bud, a dream unseen,
Took root within, a verdant sheen.
My body bloomed, a vessel warm,
To nurture life safe from the storm.

But silent whispers turned to dread,
An empty echo where hope once tread.
The fragile bloom began to fade,
A hollow ache, a love betrayed.

Tears fall like rain on barren ground,
A symphony of sobs resound.
My arms reach out, a grasping plea,
For what I held, I cannot see.

The world moves on, a careless beat,
Oblivious to this crushing defeat.
But in my heart, a love remains,
A whispered name, etched in the rains.

Though grief may linger, sharp and cold,
A tiny seed in memory holds.
I’ll learn to dance with loss and pain,
And hope one day, love blooms again.

No Longer Run

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I will no longer run after people.
I will no longer seek you out.
I will no longer worry and fret.
I will no longer care.

Life is too short to hold onto people,
Who doesn’t want to be held onto.
Life is too short to work about,
Those who don’t worry about you.
Life’s too short to seek out,
Those who won’t seek you out. 

I will no longer run after people.
I will no longer seek you out.
I will no longer worry and fret.
I will no longer care.

If I keep telling myself this,
Maybe I will listen.
Maybe I won’t feel bad,
When I am left in the dust.

To See You Smile

My daughter has depression and has gone thorugh a lot this summer. She even attempted suicide. So this past weekend, she went to a water park with a friend and had a wonderful time. We have gotten her into therpay and on the right medicine that she needs. Thank God, I was home at the right time the day she attempted.

I was supposed to have a work meeting, that had been on the books all year. That was canceled. For 8 years, I worked iwth a gilr who had seizures. So when my duaghter started to act strange, I knew she was having seizure activity and I was able to lay her down in the rescue position and get someone to call 911. Those days when she was in the hospital were one of the longest of my life. I know we are not out of the woods yet. Depression is a clinical imbalance and one you live with all your life, but she now has the support she needs.

The darkness has lifted,
The sun shines through,
And I see your smile again,
Like a ray of new.

I’ve watched you struggle,
I’ve seen the pain,
But you’ve never given up,
You’ve always remained.

You’re stronger than you know,
You’re braver than you seem,
And I’m so proud of you,
For fighting to be free.

So keep on smiling,
Keep on shining bright,
I love you more than words can say,
My beautiful daughter.

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