You give to others, but it is not enough. They want more and more until you have nothing to give. When you have nothing to give, they leave. They leave in search of another that can give more.
This is not your fault, Your act of kindness was from your heart. Your love does not go unnoticed.Â
You may feel foolish for helping, but never feel foolish for doing the right thing. For those who take advantage of you, have to live with themselves. Never change who you are.
Never change your heart. It is the others who need to change who they are.Â
The curtain falls, the act is done, No more applause, I won’t be won By tangled threads of he said, she said, A chorus sung where reason’s fled.
My heart, a stage once grand and wide, Now craves the peace where troubles hide. No space remains for whispered fights, Or battles waged in flickering lights.
I close the door on endless scenes, Of broken trust and shattered means. My path unfolds, a winding way, Where sunlight streams and shadows play.
Let others chase their frantic play, I’ll find my solace, come what may. For in this quiet, I shall bloom, Unburdened by another’s gloom.
For a month now, a fire’s been burning in my gut. There’s something I need to say, especially to warn women, but wrestling with my own emotions has held me back. Here’s the thing: we’ve all heard it – listen to your body. Doctors might brush you off, but you know when something feels wrong. It’s your body, after all.
After my son was born, I expected some bleeding – it’s natural. It stopped for a while, but then started again. I wasn’t sure if this was normal postpartum bleeding or something else, so I decided to err on the side of caution.
My primary care doctor listened to my concerns about renewed bleeding after my son’s birth. They explained that since the bleeding stopped previously and didn’t feel like a period, it wasn’t likely related to postpartum recovery. Because the bleeding occurred only during bowel movements, they referred me to a gastroenterologist for further evaluation.
The colonoscopy revealed a number of polyps. They were removed and tested, with some showing precancerous signs, meaning they had the potential to become cancerous over time. This meant I needed regular colonoscopies to monitor my health.
This experience taught me a valuable lesson: listen to your body. If something feels off, don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor. And if they don’t take your concerns seriously, find a new doctor who will be your advocate.
A few years later, I noticed my menstrual periods were heavier than usual. Concerned, I made an appointment with my gynecologist. They explained that while having three C-sections can sometimes thicken the uterine lining, it wasn’t necessarily the cause of my heavy bleeding. To investigate further, they recommended an endometrial biopsy. It wasn’t as comfortable as a pap smear (which can cause some stinging), but it was a manageable procedure. The biopsy is a test where a small tissue sample is taken from the lining of the uterus to diagnose abnormalities. Thankfully, everything came back normal, a huge relief.
Adding to this, I also underwent genetic testing since my mother sadly passed away from ovarian cancer when I was just 11. Thankfully, the test results were negative, indicating I didn’t carry the gene mutation. However, after a few years and a move, I needed a new gynecologist. When I explained my history, including my heavier periods and approaching menopause, she suggested an oophorectomy (ovary removal). While the benefits are generally good, she acknowledged that negative genetic tests aren’t foolproof. A positive test indicates the presence of the gene, but a negative result doesn’t necessarily guarantee its absence.
The genetic test results were again negative, but this time with a higher risk score. This score indicates a slightly elevated risk compared to the average population. It doesn’t necessarily mean I have the gene mutation, but it allowed my doctor to justify the procedure to my insurance company and secure coverage for an oophorectomy (ovary removal).
While the necessity of justifying a medical procedure to an insurance company can be frustrating, that’s a discussion for another time.
I have an upcoming surgery in June to address a mass discovered in my uterus during a recent ultrasound. Doctors won’t know for sure what the mass is until it’s removed. Initially, my doctor recommended removing both my ovaries and the mass itself (oophrectomy with mass removal).
We also discussed a full hysterectomy, which would remove the uterus, cervix, and fallopian tubes. This option would eliminate any future concerns about the mass or other potential growths in the uterus. After careful consideration, I decided to proceed with the full hysterectomy.
I don’t talk to anyone who knew my mom, for their reasons, not mine. I don’t know what she went through as I was so young. I don’t know how she truly felt about the signs she had, only the visible ones. I know I am making the right decision, but it still scares me. The recovery is going to be about two months, which is why I scheduled it for the summer since I am a teacher, but still.
Right now I am just nervous while relieved I found this out now rather than later.
A Hidden Blight
Steel butterflies flutter in my chest, Wings cold and sharp, a nervous guest. June looms, a date etched sharp and clear, Surgery’s shadow, ever near.
A mass unknown, a whispered fright, My body’s map, a hidden blight. Ovaries, uterus, the choice unfolds, A path of loss, a story untold.
My mother’s journey, veiled in mist, A silent echo I can’t resist. Was she afraid? Did tremors shake, When faced with choices for her sake?
The scalpel’s glint, a sterile gleam, A stolen future, a waking dream. Recovery’s road, a weary climb, But hope remains, a flickering rhyme.
For health’s embrace, a price I’ll pay, Though fear still whispers in the gray. This body, tested, will mend anew.
A simmering heat, a prickling spark, A careless word that leaves its mark. The trust you built, a fragile thing, Now cracks appear, a discord’s sting.
Blood rushes hot, a rising tide, Reason’s voice, for once defied. Anger flares, a burning brand, Words like weapons, close at hand.
The urge to lash, to push away, The calm you seek seems far astray. But wait, a breath, a moment’s pause, Is this the war you truly choose?
For anger’s fire, though fierce and bright, Can blind the heart and dim the light. Step back, rewind, the truth discern, Is anger’s path the one to learn?
Let understanding take its hold, Speak with reason, clear and bold. For even storms eventually cease, Leaving a space for inner peace.
I used to say; you knew the way. I used to say; your light was bright. I used to want to be like you. I used to think you knew what’s best.
I can’t understand what went wrong. I can’t understand why you changed. Don’t think I don’t miss you. Don’t think I don’t care. Don’t think I don’t pray. Pray for you every day. I often ask, why?
I don’t know you now. Not the way you are today. I don’t know what happened. I used to say; you knew the way.
Was it all a joke? Did you ever care? When did your light begin to fade?
Was it all a joke? Did you ever care? When did your light begin to fade? I can’t understand what went wrong.
I can’t understand why you changed. Don’t think I don’t miss you. Don’t think I don’t care. Don’t think I don’t pray. Pray for you every day. I often ask, why?
Sides are drawn, and you are left in the dust. The world is not what it once was. You feel deflated. All you once knew is gone. Lies and corruption and you are deflated.
I thought you were my friend. I thought I could count on you. Sides were drawn, and I was left standing alone. Standing looking around, not knowing which way is up.
Deflated, and my soul aches, and I am left. Dejected and alone, you know now who you can count on. The sides were drawn, and you were left in the dust.Â
You want to scream and cry but it won’t matter. Your soul aches but who cares. Deflated and alone, but no one cares. They only care for themselves and you were left alone.
With righteous fire, I took their side, A shield held high, their honor tied To mine, a bond of trust and truth, Against the whispers, fueled by ruth.
I fought the doubt, the pointed stares, Their innocence, my battle prayer. But shadows danced, the whispers grew, A hidden truth, a chilling hue.
The shield I held, it began to crack, As doubt seeped in, a painful track. The one I championed, eyes turned cold, A secret whispered, then I’m told,
“The blame, it shifts, a fickle friend, My loyalty, a tragic end.” Betrayal’s sting, a serpent’s coil, The ground beneath me, shifting soil.
Now, trust lies shattered, heart in pain, A lesson learned, etched in the rain. To choose a side, a risky game, For loyalty’s flame, can turn to blame.
Witnessing a total eclipse for the first time was breathtaking. Standing under complete darkness, with only the corona framing the sun, was an experience that left me speechless. It’s a powerful reminder of the awe-inspiring universe we inhabit.
In our culture, “awesome” gets thrown around a lot, but today truly redefined the word for me. This eclipse served as a powerful confirmation of my faith. God’s creation is a testament to his majesty, and today, I witnessed a glimpse of that wonder.
The sun, a giant, crowned in flame, Yields to a dancer, not the same. The moon, a mistress, swift and sly, Steals his brilliance from the sky.
A hush descends, a sudden chill, As day and night, in conflict, spill. The world transforms in shades of gray, Birds fall silent, lost in day.
A crown of fire, a pearly ring, The corona, secrets it does sing. A glimpse of power, fierce and bright, Then plunged back into fading light.
The sun returns, a victor’s gleam, But memory paints a different dream. Of darkness dancing with the sun, A cosmic ballet, briefly won.
One hundred whole, a perfect shade, An epic sight, forever stayed. A testament to heavens grand, The eclipse, a wonder in our hand.
The idle hand, the fallow ground, A curious ache, a hollow sound. No task to chase, no goal to meet, A languor settles, bittersweet.
Perhaps it’s purpose, lost and frayed, The unused mind, in shadows laid. We crave the fight, the mental strain, The sweet relief of conquered pain.
Or maybe rest, a friend disguised, A chance to see what’s long been prized. The hobbies whispered, passions quelled, A time for dreams that time withheld.
So listen close, to what’s beneath, The sadness veiled, the yearning teeth. Is it for structure, duty’s call, Or freedom’s song, to break the thrall?
This quietude, a gift, a test, To find the wellspring in your breast. For work brings peace, but so does ease, The choice is yours, to find your breeze.
The whispers twist like smoke and ash, A tarnish on a cherished past. They paint a picture, cold and gray, Of parents loved, now swept away.
Their laughter, once a joyful tune, Now echoes hollow, out of tune. Their kindness, once a warming sun, Deemed weakness by the thoughtless one.
It stings to hear their memories frayed, Their gentle hands as faults portrayed. The love they gave, a precious thing, Reduced to whispers on the wing.
But anger flares, a righteous fire, To shield their light, their hearts’ desire. Their legacy, a tapestry bright, Woven with love, and woven tight.
No whispered word, no careless tongue, Can steal the truth of what they’ve done. Their love remains, a guiding star, Though shadows try to dim how far
Their light has reached, the warmth they gave, A shelter strong, a life they saved. So let them speak, with words unsound, Their whispers lost on hallowed ground.
For in your heart, their memory lies, Untarnished truth in loving eyes. And when the storm has passed its peak, Their love will guide you, strong and sleek.
