mental illness

The Weight of Unshared Burdens

/ Nancy Ann Creed / Leave a comment
silhouette of a woman with finger over her lip
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The Weight of Unshared Burdens

I’m carrying a secret,
One I can’t share.
If I told anyone,
They’d be filled with despair.

It locks away my thoughts,
And shadows all my days.
A silent storm inside,
Lost in a winding maze.

I’m afraid of what they’ll think,
Of how they’ll react.
I don’t want to hurt them,
So I’ll keep this to myself.

The truth could shatter bonds,
And break the fragile trust.
So I will wear this mask,
Because I know I must.

I’m carrying this burden,
All alone.
It’s heavy and it’s painful,
But I know I can’t let it go.

No shoulder to lean on,
No hand to guide my way.
I walk this lonely road,
Further into the gray.

I need to find a way to deal with this,
To find a way to cope.
I can’t keep living like this,
With this secret weighing me down.

I search for just a spark,
To clear this heavy air.
To find some inner peace,
And ease this dark despair.

More Works by Nancy Ann Creed

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Courage in Chaos: Overcoming Anxiety Daily

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Worn vintage suitcase with travel stickers placed on wooden floor in hallway

The walls are leaning inward, though the level says they’re straight,
And the air feels thick and heavy, like a physical, dull weight.
It’s a static in the marrow, it’s a ringing in the ears,
A list of “what-ifs” blooming into catastrophic fears.
The door feels like a mountain, and the phone a jagged stone,
The mind builds up a prison that it’s crafted all alone.

But the kettle starts its humming, and the clock begins to chime,
The world doesn’t pause its spinning just to give me extra time.
So I breathe a shallow rhythm, count the floorboards near my feet,
And find the tiny pocket where the fear and duty meet.
It isn’t that the shaking stops or shadows go away,
It’s the shaking hands that reach out to begin the work of day.

I carry it like luggage—bulky, frayed, and overfilled,
Across the bridge of “must-do,” where the panic isn’t stilled.
I take a single, trembling step, then find the strength for two,
Doing all the things I need, while the fear is coming through.
For courage isn’t silence where the anxious thoughts are gone,
It’s the shivering soul that tells itself: regardless, carry on.

More Works by Nancy Ann Creed

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What Depression Feels Like

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What Depression Feels Like

The liquid velvet, soft and deep,
A wonderfully warm tide to keep
The soul at rest, the skin in grace,
A gentle, all-encompassing embrace.
It holds the sun’s forgotten art,
A yielding balm that mends the heart,
Sinking deep into the bone,
Where every coil of tension is overthrown.

A quiet joy within the chest,
A feeling wholly warm and blessed.
Not just physical, but a love untold,
A deep, inexplicable warmth to hold.
In peaceful suspension, time is still,
The outside world obeys the will
Of this sweet bliss, where nothing is near
But the gentle lapping of the heat held dear.

Then, a subtle shift begins to creep,
Disturbing the water from its sleep.
A whisper of coolness, a current’s sigh,
A quiet, inevitable tide draws nigh.
Down and down, the sanctuary falls,
The warmth’s core pulled through unseen walls,
A slow descent, the magic gone astray,
As the perfect feeling flows away.

Swiftly now the change is known,
A shocking cold, where heat was sown.
It hits the body, a sharp intrusion,
A sudden, stark, and cold confusion.
Creeping up the limbs, the awakening stark,
Leaving a chill, a profound, cold mark.
A sudden loss, a trailing dread,
As comforting heat has truly fled.

The final warmth is now withdrawn,
I lie in wait for the bleak, cold dawn.
The porcelain icy, the air is chill,
The once-magical pool is now still.
A container cold, and left alone,
A bleak and empty vessel of stone.
I shiver slightly, the memory’s grace
Of that perfect heat still haunts this place,
Wondering why such a feeling could flee,
And depart so completely from me.

A good friend once told me that this is how depression feels. I do not have depression. I have anxiety. But I thought it was an interesting metaphor for depression. I wanted to write it down to give some awareness. He said once the cold hits you, you feel like the warmth will never come back.

https://books2read.com/u/m25Ygd

Feelings

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Feelings (When you know you are being left out.)

The laughter comes through drywall, thick and low,
A happy static I don’t get to know.
I’m in the kitchen, pouring out a drink,
And on the very edge of what they think.
It isn’t cruel, it has no pointed sting,
This accidental orbit where I swing.

The door swings open and the sound cuts clean,
A sudden silence wipes the vibrant scene.
A smile is offered, quick and paper-thin,
A pause, before the story can begin
Again, but different. Softer, and more staid,
A careful, edited version, newly made.

And in that quiet that my presence brought,
A frantic question in my mind is caught:
Was my name just a whisper in the air?
A punctuation mark they couldn’t share?
A punchline or a problem or a plea?
Was the last word they swallowed simply “me”?

There is no proof, no evidence to find,
Just shifting shadows in my worried mind.
A glance that might mean nothing, or mean all,
The way a friendly gesture seems too small.
I’m chasing ghosts of words I never heard,
And judging every single action spurred.

It’s like a hum beneath the floorboards, faint,
A phantom ache that merits no complaint.
For what is there to say? “I feel a dread
About the secret things you might have said”?
They’d call it madness, and perhaps they’re right.
So I just stand here in the fading light,
And smile, and nod, and never let them see
The terrifying space surrounding me.

Check out more work by Nancy Ann Creed

Maeve- https://books2read.com/u/m25Ygd
Matthew- https://books2read.com/u/bzNZYj
Justin- https://books2read.com/u/mBKzLZ
Maurelle- https://books2read.com/u/bzN19D
Annabelle- https://books2read.com/u/bWqEkx

Deflated

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Deflated

Sides are drawn, and you are left in the dust.
The world is not what it once was.
You feel deflated.
All you once knew is gone.
Lies and corruption and you are deflated.

I thought you were my friend. I thought I could count on you.
Sides were drawn, and I was left standing alone. 
Standing looking around, not knowing which way is up.

Deflated, and my soul aches, and I am left.
Dejected and alone, you know now who you can count on. 
The sides were drawn, and you were left in the dust. 

You want to scream and cry but it won’t matter.
Your soul aches but who cares. 
Deflated and alone, but no one cares.
They only care for themselves and you were left alone.


A Roller Coaster of a Mind

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A roller coaster ride, my mind’s domain,
From soaring highs to crashing depths, again and again.
Bipolar disorder, a constant dance,
Of mania’s embrace and depression’s trance.

On manic wings, I soar so high,
A boundless energy, that never seems to die.
My mind races, my thoughts take flight,
In a world of infinite possibilities, bathed in light.

But the crash comes, inevitable and swift,
A dark cloud descends, leaving me adrift.
Depression’s weight, it presses down hard,
On my weary spirit, my shattered guard.

I feel so lost, so empty and void,
My motivation drained, my soul devoid.
The simplest tasks seem insurmountable,
Each day a struggle, a haunting lament.

But I’m not alone in this fight, I know,
Others share my journey, through highs and lows.
And so we dance, this bipolar waltz,
With courage and grace, in spite of all.

For in the darkness, there is always light,
And in the depths of despair, there is hope in sight.
We are survivors, we are resilient,
Together we rise, forever brilliant.

So let us embrace our bipolar minds,
With all their complexities, their unique designs.
For we are more than our disorder, we are whole,
Beautiful souls, with stories to be told.

OCD

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I find when I am really stressed, I keep washing my hands. I need things to be in a certain place or I can’t function. Which is fine for my job, I am extremely organize there. But no one is organized with a house full of kids. I have to have the radio’s volume on an even number. There are many more things about me, but you get the idea.

OCD

My mind is a carousel, spinning and spinning,
With thoughts that won’t relent, that keep on grinning.
Obsessions and compulsions, they rule my day,
Leaving me exhausted, drained away.

I check the locks again and again,
Is the door closed tight, or is it open wide?
I wash my hands until they’re raw and red,
To rid myself of germs, my mind’s dread.

Numbers and patterns dance in my head,
Everything must be perfect, nothing left unsaid.
I rearrange objects, line them up just right,
Seeking solace in symmetry, day and night.

OCD is a cruel mistress, she takes her toll,
On my time, my energy, my very soul.
But I’m not alone in this fight, I know,
Others share my burden, their hearts aglow.

So let us stand together, hand in hand,
And raise our voices, let them understand.
OCD doesn’t define us, we are strong,
We’ll find our way, where we belong.

I’m not broken, I’m wired differently,
My OCD is a part of me, intrinsically.
I’m learning to accept it, to embrace,
To find my own unique path, to make my own space.

To See You Smile

/ Nancy Ann Creed / Leave a comment

My daughter has depression and has gone thorugh a lot this summer. She even attempted suicide. So this past weekend, she went to a water park with a friend and had a wonderful time. We have gotten her into therpay and on the right medicine that she needs. Thank God, I was home at the right time the day she attempted.

I was supposed to have a work meeting, that had been on the books all year. That was canceled. For 8 years, I worked iwth a gilr who had seizures. So when my duaghter started to act strange, I knew she was having seizure activity and I was able to lay her down in the rescue position and get someone to call 911. Those days when she was in the hospital were one of the longest of my life. I know we are not out of the woods yet. Depression is a clinical imbalance and one you live with all your life, but she now has the support she needs.

The darkness has lifted,
The sun shines through,
And I see your smile again,
Like a ray of new.

I’ve watched you struggle,
I’ve seen the pain,
But you’ve never given up,
You’ve always remained.

You’re stronger than you know,
You’re braver than you seem,
And I’m so proud of you,
For fighting to be free.

So keep on smiling,
Keep on shining bright,
I love you more than words can say,
My beautiful daughter.

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Supporting My Daughter

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I have spoken out about her depression and her sucidial ideatnion. She is really dealing with a lot right. Some “Friends” found her ticktock and decided to make fun of her for it. She was so upset, she ripped up most of the artwork she mad. I want to show the bullies that they will not win. Zelda gave me permssion to show her vidoes. I hope by the postive feedback she is getting on other sites, that she will purpose her art once again.

@nancyanncreed

My duaghter took down her ticktok cause she was bullied. She agreed to put them up on my ticktok. The bullies don’t know my ticktok. So all the creative people and the therians out there, show her support. The messed up thing, is that my daughter had server depression and attempted sucide once. Her socalledfriends knew this. Yes she is in counseling. A lot of counseling, but I need to build her up and show her to rise above the bullies. #theriansoftiktok #theraiantiktok #therianpride #therians #therians #theriancommunity depression #art #bullies #bulliesoftikitok #stellathestar

♬ original sound – Nancy Ann Creed – Nancy Ann Creed
@nancyanncreed

Making My Mask #therian #therianmask #therians #cats #zelda #therianpride #therianoftiktok

♬ original sound – Nancy Ann Creed – Nancy Ann Creed

Friends

/ Nancy Ann Creed / Leave a comment

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My daughter is going through a lot. I think many adolescents are dealing with mental health. I wish she had better friends that support her but sadly she does not. She has been in the mental hospital twice since April. She tried to kill herself and has severe depression. We have been in and out of therapy and doctor’s appointments all summer. Now she does not want to go back to school because her so-called friends are making fun of her. It is a hard lesson to learn that some people are toxic and not good friends. I know I have had a hard time with this, and I am an adult. I just need prayers for her.

Friends

A good friend is someone who is honest
Even when it hurts, they’ll tell you the truth.
They’ll never sugarcoat things
And they’ll always be there to give you tough love.

A Good Friend

A good friend is someone who is always there
When you need them, no matter what the weather.
They’ll listen to you when you’re feeling down
And they’ll always be there to lend a hand.

A good friend is someone who will always be true
Even when it’s hard, they’ll stick by you.
They’ll celebrate your successes
And they’ll be there to comfort you in your failures.

A Good Friend Is Not

A good friend is not someone who is always there
When it’s convenient for them.
They’re not someone who will only be your friend
When things are going well for you.

A good friend is not someone who will lie to you
Or betray your trust.
They’re not someone who will only be your friend
When they need something from you.

A good friend is someone who is there for you
Through thick and thin.
They’re someone who will always be there for you
No matter what.

So if you’re lucky enough to have a good friend
Treasure them.
They’re a rare and precious gift.