If You Were Here... I just need to talk to someone. There is no place safe to talk. Who won’t judge and won’t be hurt by what I say. I know if you were here, I could talk to you. I know I would be talking to you now, And so many other times before. If you were here. I need someone to talk to, A safe place where there is no blame. A place where I can be honest and A place where you won’t be hurt. A place where I can say whatever I need, And you will just listen And no one will be hurt. I need you, your voice, and your wisdom. If you were here.
depression
Am I Your Friend
Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash
Am I your friend? Do you really care about me the way I care about you? We use the term best friends, but is that just me? But is that truly what I am to you? Do I think more of you than you think of me? When my usefulness is gone, will you also leave? Why do these questions haunt me so? I worry about the future, like an endless sea of doubt. Doubting myself and others, will I ever be happy.
Rain
Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! As you walk the puddles splash up getting your pants wet. Despite this, the sounds are soothing. Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! The cold sinking into your clothes as, It sends shivers down your spine. Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! Your lips turned blue, the rain thickens, Now running down your forehead and into your eyes. You blink as you wipe your eyes, Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! As you return home, the warmth hits you. A blanket wraps around you as you sit and listen, To the tap tap of the rain on the roof. Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop! Tap Tap, splash, splash, plop, plop!
Invisible
I feel invisible. I am invisible. As if life is passing me by and no one seems to notice or care. You run around me asking for help, but my hand you do not see. I am invisible. I am invisible. You walk right past me as if no one was there. I am a shadow of the way I was, a body with no host. You walk right past me as if I was a ghost. I am a shadow of my former self, as I try to hold on to things of the past A shadow of the life that I used to share. I am invisible. I am invisible. You walk right past me as if no one was there. I am a shadow of the way I was, a body with no host. You walk right past me as if I was a ghost. You walk right past me as if I am nothing. The tears I shed, go unnoticed as you no longer care. You walk past me as if I was never there. Why is my self-worth wrapped up in what you think? I watched everything go by but seeing nothing as nothing is left for me. Trapped in a box I cannot escape, The water pulls me under, but you do not see I am invisible, I am invisible You walk right past me as if no one was there I am a shadow of the way I was, a body with no host You walk right past me as if I was a ghost.
Why do people give up on me?
Why do people give up on me? Am I a bad person? That they should shun me? I pray for my friends. I help them when I can. I never give up on a friend. It’s not in my nature. If I haven't heard from you in a long time, I reach out to you. I reach out to you. I never give up on a friend. It’s not in my nature. When you are alone, you will remember me. You will remember that I never gave up on you. But you gave up on me. For I am only here when no one else is. But still, I am here. I never give up on a friend. It’s not in my nature.
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas! I hope everyone is having a wonderful Christmas. I know this is supposed to be a happy time, but if it isn’t for you, please reach out. It’s the season to be jolly, but sometimes it is not that jolly for many. My pm is always open if you ever need to talk.
I am Fine
I was fine when you hurt me. I was fine when you left I was fine when you said I was the best. I was fine when you came back And I say I am fine when you Left again. For I always knew the time would come. So I lie, and I say I am Fine. I am fine. I am fine.
Ask Why?
The storm rages onÂ
Though my heart it bleedsÂ
A burst of passion in my soulÂ
As the winds rage onÂ
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A squall's wrath makes the windows shakeÂ
The night sky electrifiesÂ
By the blast of the lightÂ
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And I sit insideÂ
Wondering whyÂ
I hear the rainÂ
As it taps, the wind as it howls and stillÂ
IÂ ask whyÂ
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The illumination of the skyÂ
And I ask myself whyÂ
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The rains pour down, the thunder explodesÂ
And IÂ ask whyÂ
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Shattered
Shattered It pushes me down. I can't breathe. How can this happen? I gasp for air as I am torn to pieces. Torn apart. My hopes and dreams went in an instant. The pictures of my future shattered. How do you go on from here? How do you glue a shattered person back together? Pick me up as I am in pieces on the floor. A hollow existence of my former self. Moving through the motions of daily life as I go. My shattered heart ached to be mended. How could you trust again in this shattered life?Â
MOM
Each spring day I think of you. I wonder where life would have taken us. I wonder if we would have fought through my teen years.   Is this image of you that rolls around in my head true? Or just the memory of a girl who lost her mom. Would you be here for my kids? Do you watch us from above? Are you proud of me or did I let you down? Each day that goes by, I remember you less. Only through photos are my memories clear. Each day that does by, your voice fades more. I wonder where life would have taken us. How different would life be if you were still here? Is the dream in my head true of just? Or just the wish of a girl who lost her mom.