I was never popular.
I always made mistakes and still do.
No one likes me or if they do, they fake it.
I don’t know what I am doing wrong.
It seems each day I make mistake after mistake
Maybe they are trying to push me out.
Maybe I am better off being alone.
One night, two people. Calling me names, blasting me to others. Some say it doesn’t matter. I should forget it and move on. It’s their loss and blah blah blah... Bullshit! Why does it hurt so badly if all these other people say it shouldn’t. Why am I the target? Am I weak? Why is it so hard to walk away? Why do I want to keep talking? And why do I get so angry? Why am I so hurt?
They ask you to be honest, but is that is what they really want? When you speak honestly, does it always work out? Should you be honest? Should you speak the truth? You fear when you speak, your heart races, will you hurt someone? Time and time again people ask you, to be yourself. Do they know what they are asking for? I am far too honest at the wrong times. I am insecure and, I never think highly of myself. I need constant reassurances and, Often feel guilty for the things I say and do. You say be yourself and be honest. But the fear is overwhelming.